Maybe it’s because Valentine’s Day is coming up, or just because it seems like all my friends got a memo to become couples and I missed out on it, but love has been on my mind lately. No matter how many circles I go in my mind about it, though, I keep coming back to what I think is a fundamental truth about love: there is no “I” in love because love is selfless. What I mean is that when you’re love, you care about the other person and you want to take into consideration their needs, because their happiness gives you pleasure and you want to keep them happy to keep yourself happy. Whether you articulate that to yourself or not, you will find yourself concerned about the welfare of another being, and if push came to shove you would likely be willing to engage in behavior your might normally not for their sake. If it’s someone you care about, you’ll find yourself willing to do something like planning to travel a bit just to see them briefly, and you’ll tell yourself it was worth a five hour commute to see them happy to see you for five minutes.
The bottom line is that loving entails caring about someone, and that basically means you have to take some minute level of interest in their life. I really don’t understand why it is so hard for people to grasp that fact, and why we tell ourselves that relationships should come easy. They can’t, there is no magic formula to make a relationship work other than by working at it. Which hopefully you want to do, because you love them.